You Know You Are A Social Worker If...

This was sent to me by a social worker friend of mine. I thought it was humorous so I decided to share it with you. I think my social worker friends out there will truly appreciate it...





1. You think $40,000 a year is 'really making it'.

2. You don't know what it's like to work with men.

3. You know all the latest lingo for drugs, where to get them, and how much they cost.

4. You’ve started a sentence with 'So what I hear you saying is...'

5. You’ve had 2 or more jobs at one time just to pay the bills.

6. You tell people what you do and they say 'that's so noble'

7. You have had to explain to people that not all social workers take away kids.

8. You use the words 'validate,' 'appropriate' and 'intervention' daily.

9. You spend more than half your day documenting and doing paperwork.

10. You think nothing of discussing child abuse over dinner.

11. People have said to you 'I don't know how you do what you do'.

12. You’ve never been on a business trip or had an expense account.

13. You know a lot of other social workers who have left the profession for another.

14. You’re very familiar with the concept of entitlement.

15. Staying at a job for 2 years is 'a long time'.

16. Your phone number is unlisted for good reason.

17. Your professional newsletters always have articles about raising salaries...but you still haven't seen it.

18. You’re very familiar with the term 'budget cut'.

19. You can't imagine working at a bank or crunching numbers all day.

20. You’ve had clients who liked you just a little too much.

21. Having lunch is a luxury many days.

22. You’ve been cursed at or threatened...and it doesn't bother you.

23. Your job orientation has included self defense.

24. You have the best stories at any cocktail party.

25. Your parents don't know half of the stuff that you've dealt with at your job.

26. You know all the excuses clients use for a failed a drug test by heart.

Banned From The Computer

Okay...not really, but boy does it feel like it. Lately it seems like every time I head to the computer Military Man or the Bug or on it. The funny thing is, that prior to the lap top, Military Man avoided the dinosaur. But now...you would think he was a computer geek. Every frigging time I turn around, there he is, surfing the web, having a web affair with his fraternity brothers on FACEBOOK, or shooting emails to all his friends that he has not been in contact with since the dinosaur died. And then when I finally do get a chance to get on the computer, I hear, "are you going to be on the computer long...I need to look some things up." Now, let's keep in mind that he was most likely just on the computer not an hour before.

And now my child, my sweet precious bug, has learned how to operate the computer. I cannot tell you how often I hear, "not now mommy, I am playing Candy Land with Dora."

So, here I am, it is 10 pm and Military Man just handed the computer to me with the statement "I'm done, just in case you want to get on the computer now." It's 10 pm, past my bedtime, and he is just now handing me the computer as he is heading off to bed.

I think it is a conspiracy to keep me off the computer. Military Man and the Bug are secretly plotting to find out ways to limit my access, limit my blogging ability, limit my thought processes. Okay, I believe I am hallucinating now and need to go to bed. Maybe between now and Sunday, I will be able to complete the 5 or 6 post that I started and never finished because my posting got interrupted by Military Man and his new obsession with the laptop. But if I don't come back until 10 pm next Friday, please know that you are in my thoughts. Until next time...

Quote of the Day...

This quote came from one of my 16 year old foster children during a home visit on Wednesday. He is a bright kid and prides himself at being "medication savvy."



"Yeah, the doctor lowered my Focalin at the last visit but I don't think it is working the way it should. So when I see the doc in two weeks I am going to ask him to write a prescription for Cialis."

My Racing Foot

This, my friends, is a picture of my foot that I accidentally took today with the crackberry (I forgot to lock the keypad AGAIN). I was rushing into a court hearing. I found it this evening as I was downloading pictures off my crackberry. And because I did not make it home until close to midnight last night from the 4 day training from H*&$. This was the only thing I could come up with for a post. What?!?! Look, give me a break people. I can't bring you gut wrenching, thought provoking all the time.

I am dead on my feet my friends. Dead. This training on the new computer system has fried my brain and when I find a new one, I will bring you another post. But for now, enjoy my racing foot.

Where Am I?

For the next four days I will be in the northern part of the state attending a 4 day workshop on the new computer system from hell. I am sorry that I will not be able to bring you updated information while I am there. Unfortunately, I have to leave the laptop at home for Military Man. Don't worry, I am already working on him to get a second laptop. However, Military Man is of the firm belief that you only need one computer per household. I disagree.

So I am taking a poll. How many computers do you have in your home? Let me know. It will definitely give me more leverage with Military Man. Look forward to hearing from you.

How I Plan to Spend My Sunday...

After a week of rest and relaxation (with exception of the brief visit to the office on Wednesday) it is time to return to the world of work tomorrow. I have truly enjoyed this week off and all the quality time I was able to spend with the bug. But reality is knocking at my door and I can no longer imagine that I am a stay at home mom and my only responsibility is to my child and home. So here is how I will be spending my day

• Washing a ton of laundry that I have put off all week so I could spend time with the bug
• Pack for trip to attend 4 day training in the northern part of the state.
• Prepare lunch and snack for the bug for the next four days.
• Lay out clothing for the bug for the next four days (make sure that all hair bows and shoes match clothing laid out)
• Make lists of bug's post surgery doctor's appointment and after school activities for Military Man.
• Phone call to The Warden to confirm her schedule/role in child care assistance while away on trip.
• Quick outing today to purchase new coat at Old Navy as forecast for northern part of the state is predicted to be cold.
• Quick stop at Barnes and Noble to purchase new smut novel to read while on trip.
• Prepare dinner tonight as well as several other meals to freeze for Military Man and the bug for dinner while away on trip.

I am predicting that I will make it to bed around 1 am. I know, nothing like waiting till the last minute. But I work best under pressure and I would not trade the quality time I was able to spend with the bug this week for the world.

So, that is how I plan to spend my Sunday, how do you plan to spend you Sunday?

For The Record...

I felt compelled to go on record, maybe because it is a new year or maybe because I am trying to stick to my new year's resolutions, (whatever that resolution may be, I'm still pondering on it) I felt the need to go on the record regarding my blog. On more than one occasion I have been accused of violating client confidentiality. Let's go on the record folks, no client's information has been divulged.

Although the events that drove me to write the post (ie. child abuse case, client relationship, or foster child) are honest, all names, genders, family composition, parties involved, and details regarding the case have been changed. No, and I repeat No identifying details are disclosed on this blog. Because, let's face it...that's just wrong. Hence the Disclaimer that is located on the left hand panel on this page. (If you haven't taken the time to read it, I would suggest you read it now. Go ahead, I'll give you a moment.)

Now, information regarding my family and personal life, well, with the exception for using a pseudonym for myself, my husband, and my daughter, is authentic. Yes, in case you are wondering, my mother does know that she is referred to as "The Warden." It is a name that she earned in my younger, more formative years by my father.

I know there are many out there who disagree with this blog and no matter what I write they will find fault. But they are entitled to their opinions. And I am also sure that there are those out there who will continue to accuse me of violating a client's right to confidentiality. But again for the record, no identifying details are disclosed. What you are reading can only be described as case scenarios. I hope I have set the record straight, and if you still don't believe me, now would be a good time to read the Disclaimer...again. Any questions?

Happy New Year and A Retrospective Look at 2008

Happy New Year!!! I hope it is has been good so far. Our New Year has not gotten off to a good start. 2009 began at 9 am this morning with my mother (aka The Warden) calling to tell me that the pork roast she was preparing for our New Years Day lunch was frozen. Apparently the butcher at the meat market sold her a frozen roast. Next my sister called to inform me that the sweet potatoes she had purchased were rotten and her husband was at the grocery store purchasing the last of the sweet potatoes. I truly hope that this is not a forecast for what 2009 will hold. If so, we are in for a rough ride.

2008 had its ups and downs. In February I started this blog at the urging of my friends Trasheka and Drama Mama. I will be honest, it was a good outlet for me and although my readers started small, it quickly grew. I never anticipated the number of social work blogs out there. It was also surprising to see the number of blogs written by foster parents and adoptive parents. I have truly enjoyed reading each and ever blog. I have gained a lot from these blogs and have used some of these individuals' insights as foster/adoptive parents in my job. I am also appreciative of all the support that I have received from my fellow social workers out there, both from the mental health and child welfare/family preservation perspective. It is comforting to know that I am not the only one out there who finds humor in the twisted and often frustrating world of social work.

The one piece of this blog that I did not anticipate was attracting the attention of the cyberstalkers. These are individuals who have a true dislike (and I am being nice when I say that) for social workers and all things related to social work and child welfare. Personal attacks came fast and furious. Initially I read them, but then came to realize that these individuals clearly have an unhealthy axe to grind and no amount of reasoning or explanation will change them from their views/opinions of social work and the child welfare system. Several months ago, just before the dinosaur crashed, I stopped reading the comments and simply began deleting them. The fact of the matter is that these individuals have clearly been burned by the system, and I truly feel sorry for them. It is terrible that the system failed them and their children. I hope that one day these individuals will find peace and are able to let go of the bitterness that is driving their need to leave personal attacks not only against me and my family, but also against other social workers whose blogs have been found.

I figured since it is a new year, the blog deserved a new look. It is still a work in progress and I am sure that more changes are yet to come. Now that I have a working computer, I will not have to rely on the moods of the dinosaur. I plan to continue to blog not only about the craziness of my job, but also about my life in general. Because let's face it, life is too short and if you can't appreciate the humor (twisted as it may be) what's the point.

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year and that 2009 brings good things your way. Until next time...