Because It Is New Years Eve...

I thought about being introspective and reflect on the past year, but that can wait for another time. Tonight,I am going to spend with my family, drink sparkling apple cider with my 4 year old daughter, and watch the Fireworks on T.V. (and apparently the fireworks that just started at the neighbors house across the street.)

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

FYI: I'm On Leave

Okay, so in case I haven't mentioned it before, I have been working A LOT lately, above and beyond my normal work schedule. And for the record, I'm not complaining. It's part of the package when you work in child welfare, you are expected to be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You also have to be willing to change your plans at a moment's notice. Which is pretty much how my life has been the last two months.



In October I missed the Bug's Halloween parade and the party that followed due to an emergency at work caused by the new computer system for hell. In November, I missed the Bug's Thanksgiving lunch due to another emergency which required me to travel out of state unexpectedly. (I will leave that one for another day.) And in December, my supervisor revoked my leave, causing me to miss the Bug's Christmas program and Christmas party, due to yes, you guessed it, another emergency. Like I said, I am not complaining, it IS part of the job, but enough is freaking enough. The Bug's school knows my mother better than they know me.



So, when I put in my leave request for the Holidays, I explained to my supervisor that I would be happy to work the week of Christmas because the bug was scheduled for outpatient surgery the following week and I needed that week off. So, when the Holiday leave schedule went out, I was ecstatic to see that she had granted me the entire week of the 29th off. Yippee!!!



Unfortunately, my elation was premature, this morning at 9:30 the phone rang, it was "The Supervisor."



"Betsy, I am so sorry to bother you, but I am looking for the the placement reports and I can't locate them."



"I completed the reports last week and placed them in the box on your door as you requested." (Did I sound snarky in my statement, if so , I was slightly irritated that she would call me while I was ON LEAVE.)



"You did, okay, I see them. How is your daughter doing?"



"She's fine and made it through surgery like a trooper. Thank you for asking."



"Okay, I'm sorry again to have bothered you, have a good week off. "



I would have gotten past my irritation and being called at home if I had not received the next phone call at 4:51 pm.



"Hi Betsy, I hate calling you this late in the afternoon, but I just received an email that the deputy commissioner is needing some information on several of your cases and they need it by 10 am tomorrow."



"Isn't this the same information that the deputy commissioner asked for two weeks ago and two weeks before that?"



"Yes, I believe it is, and I would not have bothered you, but I deleted the previous emails that you had sent to me with the information."



"Okay, I believe I still have the information on my email," (Go to computer and log in to State Employee Website) "here it is, I am forwarding it to you now."



"It just came through, hold on while I review it. They are needing some additional information. I really hate to ask you this, but I am going to need you to come in sometime tomorrow and get that information for me."



Okay, thought here, she couldn't get this information herself? She knows where I keep my files with the information she is looking for. She normally has no problem going through my files while I am out of the office. But, she is my supervisor, and she is responsible for my yearly appraisal score. So, like a good little worker, I will be reporting to work tomorrow morning to compile the information that she is looking for.

My friend Trasheka once asked me "When are you going to take some time off for yourself?" FYI...I have taken some time off this week, and guess what, I got called in. Okay, so maybe I am complaining just a little bit. But I mean, come on, how many times can a person be pulled off of scheduled leave. Next time I am going to tell everyone that I am out of the country, maybe then, I will get some R & R.

Have I mentioned my interest in dump truck driving lately? The construction workers are back on my street again. Maybe I will go and see if they are taking applications. I will let you know tomorrow.

The Freckle

When the bug was born she had two freckles, one behind each ear. Military Man and I talked about them, commented on how cute they were, and wasn't it interesting that she would have two in almost the exact same spot behind each ear.



About a month ago, I noticed the one freckle had gotten larger and much darker. During a routine appointment with the Bug's dermatologist, I asked him to take a look at the freckle. He took one look at it, stepped out of his office and came back with an appointment card to see a plastic surgeon for the following week.



The next week, the Bug and I walked into the plastic surgeon's office. He took one look at the freckle and immediately scheduled the bug for surgery. He stated that while the freckle may be nothing, it was "too suspicious" in size and color and needed to come off immediately. And while he was at it, he was going to go ahead and remove the other freckle as well. It was simply better to be aggressive than take a wait and see approach.



So today we were scheduled for outpatient surgery. We had to be there at 5:30 in the morning. The doctor felt that the earlier we are there, the less anxious the bug will feel. You see, the bug, who used to love doctors, now has a real fear of them after a traumatic experience with a doctor that was covering for our regular pediatrician. Ever since, she has been terrified of doctors' and is only willing to see her dentist, whom ironically she loves.



Military Man and I have been anxious over this surgery for over a week. We knew not only would we be trying to calm the bug's fears, we would also be trying to calm our own. Although this surgery is considered "minor" it is still surgery. Military Man became irritable and started to hover over the bug, who in turn got annoyed with Military Man.

The bug knew that she is going back to see the plastic surgeon and she was okay with that because according the bug "he doesn't even touch me." Friends asked us if we were going to tell her what was happening, and we did debate over telling her, but in the end we chose to keep it simple about where she was going. And I found that it was the best decision we made.

So, on Christmas Day, the bug informed all of our family and friends that on Monday she was going to see the doctor who would make her freckle disappear, "just like magic" (she added those words.)

We got up this morning at 4:30 so we could have the bug at the hospital by 5:30. Everything went according to plan, the bug, although a little anxious, was cooperative with the hospital staff. Twenty minutes after going into surgery, the plastic surgeon came to the waiting room and stated that everything went well and they would be bringing her back to the room shortly. I looked to Military Man, who had been a nervous wreck until then.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine," he answered "but I will feel a whole hell of a lot better when they get her back in the recovery room."

Military Man does not handle the bug being sick very well. Two years ago she had to be admitted into the hospital after she became dehydrated due to a stomach virus. Military Man lost it. He could not handle seeing his only child lying in a hospital bed, helpless. I was so sure that it would be the same this time. How wrong I was...

We both did very well until I heard a blood curdling scream, followed by terrified crying. I knew that it was the bug, and I lost it right there. I began sobbing uncontrollably because I could not be there to comfort her. My rational thought process told me that she was coming out of anesthesia and was simply scared and disoriented. But my emotions got the better of me. It took Military Man and two nurses to calm me down. Once I was finally able to hold the bug and calm my emotions, I was fine. After I had settled down I looked at Military Man and stated,

"I can't believe I lost it like that, I thought for sure that it would be the other way around and I would be calming you down."

Military Man pondered on it for a moment then said, "I'm just glad I didn't pass out when I saw the I.V."

The Bug is fine by the way, right now she is sitting on the couch watching Kung Fu Panda. I am thankful that she made it through the surgery without any problems. I still can't believe I lost it the way I did, but then again, Military Man held it together, and THAT is saying a lot.

Why I Like Saturday (Or More Like, This Saturday)

TGIS...Thank God It's Saturday. I have had a crazy, exhausting week and I have never been so happy or grateful to see Saturday arrive. Today, for the first time in a very long time, I am sitting around doing absolutely NOTHING! And I have no intention of doing anything. While others are out shopping, returning gifts, finding the perfect sale, I have sitting on my big rear end enjoying the silence.

The great thing about those first few days after Christmas is that I do not have to find ways to entertain the bug. She entertains herself with all the new gifts she has received. So I can sit back, relax, and just be. I have not been able to do that in a while. Work has literally consumed my life the last few months. I have been working constantly and putting in a lot of overtime (which by the way we do not get paid for.)

I worked through Thanksgiving and Christmas. I missed out on the Bug's Halloween parade and party, Thanksgiving feast, Christmas program, and Christmas party. I have dealt with placement disruptions, adoption disruptions, fighting a new computer system, and having scheduled leave revoked by my supervisor to later learn that she had decided to take the same days off as me and needed me to provide coverage while she was out. And then to top it all off, our agency learns through the news that the governor has decided that all state employees will work the 24th and 26th of December. The only day off will be Christmas Day. Stick a fork in me people, I am done!!!

On Tuesday 12/23/08, I worked all day and the stayed up until 1 am doing prep work for Christmas. On 12/24/08 I woke up at 5:45 got ready for work and worked all day. Upon arriving home, I rushed to get ready for church only to arrive 15 minutes late for the services. I spent the remainder of the evening helping the bug bake cookies for Santa. After she went to bed, I continued doing prep work for our Christmas dinner. At 11 pm, Military Man comes downstairs, hands me three bags and states, "Can you wrap these for me they are for my mother." I still had to wrap gifts, play Santa, and finish the Brine for the turkey. I looked at Military Man and stated "You waited until 11 pm to ask me to wrap your mother's gifts." Military man mumbles something under his breath and then reports that he is going to bed. At 2 pm I make it to bed.

On 12/25/08 (Christmas day) I wake up at 6 am to start cooking for our Christmas day meal that is always held at my house. At 7:30, I take a break from cooking so we can have Christmas with the Bug. We then travel to my parent's home to have Christmas there. We return home at 10 am, where I immediately begin cooking again. The majority of my morning and afternoon was spent cooking and/or cleaning. I say all this because at 9 pm after all family and friends have gone home, I looked at Military Man and stated "I am exhausted, I am going to bed." Military Man looks at me and states "I know what you mean, I'm exhausted too, today has worn me out." I could not help it, I had to ask "And why are you exhausted? You weren't up till 1 and 2 in the morning only to get up in the morning to go to work, I did not see you in the kitchen cooking and doing prep work. And you are exhausted why?" His response..."Well, I had to deal with your family and mine all day." I looked at Military Man and stated "I go to work tomorrow, Saturday is mine...all mine." Military Man looked thoughtful for a moment and I could tell he had something he wanted to say, but he simply turned and walked away. He hasn't complained today and the only comment he has made is "Do you think you are going to be on the computer much longer?"

I like this Saturday, I have earned this Saturday, and I hope that all of you who worked just as hard are having a restful and relaxing Saturday as well. Happy Saturday, have a drink or two on me.

Season's Greetings

Season's Greetings!!!

Here's wishing everyone a Merry

Christmas and Happy Holiday Season!

From Burned Out Betsy and Family.

Yes, I Have Social Worker Written On My Forehead

Okay, I had another post planned today, but given yesterday's events, I felt compelled to share this story.



Yesterday afternoon I was at church with the bug for the Christmas Pageant Rehearsal. I was there with approximately 30 other parents. We were scattered all through the church, some directing the children, others fiddling with costumes, and the rest of us watching the children rehearse. I was sitting at the far end of the church with Ms. Barbara, the grandparent of one of the bug's friends. We were discussing her son who was recently deployed to Iraq and the adjustments she is having to make now that she is raising his daughter (the bug's friend.) Like I said, we were sitting at the far end of the church, we were not even close to the entrance. When I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and there was a young woman. She was clearly homeless and had tears running down her face.



"Excuse me ma'am, can you help me. I was sent here by the homeless shelter, they said you may be able to help me."



Ms. Barbara and I looked at each other and then at the young woman. She explained that she was released from the hospital several days ago and had no place to go. She had been staying at the homeless shelter but they did not provide food on the weekends. She had no money and was desperate.



"I need a shower and clean clothes. I have not eaten since yesterday afternoon. Can you please help me."



Ms. Barbara went to the kitchen to see what she could find while I waited with the young woman. I asked her if she had family, she said she did, but did not have the money to call them and asked if she could use the church's phone. Unfortunately, the church phone was in the office, which was locked. I asked her if she knew her family's phone number, she stated that she did and knew that if she called them, they would come and get her. When Ms. Barbara came back, I went out to my car to get my cell phone. When I got back to the church, the young woman stated that she could not remember the phone number. I offered to call information for her, but she stated that her family lived in another city. I offered to call information in the state in which her family resided, but she shook her head and stated "no, thank you." She again stated that she needed a shower and clothes and began crying.

"I don't like looking like this." she stated, "I want to look presentable, these aren't even my own clothes." And that was the crux of it, she did not want her family to see her in her present condition.

Our church did not have a clothing closet nor did we have a bathroom with a shower. Neither Ms. Barbara nor I had cash on hand to give to her. I again offered to call her family or someone that she may know. She shook her head and began to walk away. I went after her and asked her if she had a place to stay tonight, she stated that she could stay at the shelter again. Ms. Barbara and I both offered to take her there or anywhere she needed to go. She thanked Ms. Barbara for the food and me for the offer of the cell phone. She then looked at me and stated, "you remind me of my old social worker. Thank you for all your help and making me feel like I was someone."

Ms. Barbara and I watched her walk out of the church. Ms. Barbara looked at me and stated "I hope she is going to be alright. You don't want question her story, I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she really needs help. At least I know we tried." Ms. Barbara paused for a moment and then stated, "Isn't funny, out of all these people in this church, she picked you."

I guess I had social worker written on my forehead yesterday afternoon. Working in child welfare, I've seen it all. Many social workers that I have encountered over the years, would have written her story off and wondered what her ulterior motive was. I, like Ms. Barbara, want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I hope she made it to the homeless shelter ok. I hope she found a shower and fresh clothing. I hope she was able to contact her family. Regardless, I wish there was more that we could have done.

I'm Baaackk!!!

Tap, tap, tap…helloooo, is anyone out there? Tap, tap, tap, heeelllloooo, is this thing working? Did you think I had gone away for good? Well, in case you were wondering…I’m baaacckk! If you recall, my last post almost two months ago, I wrote how I did a bad, bad, thing with our dinosaur of a computer. Military Man did get it up and running, but approximately 2 days later, I walked into the computer room/Military Man’s “man” room and the screen had gone black. Black my friends and now matter how hard Military Man tried to coax, praise it, talk to it sweetly, that there dinosaur was officially dead. It finally recognized it was the last of its' kind and decided to join the other dinosaurs in heaven (or wherever dead computer’s go).

I jumped on the opportunity to immediately go out and purchase a new one. But Military Man, he had to study, examine, read every computer magazine there is and then follow up with conversations with his computer techie friends. Our last computer (may it rest in peace) was built to Military Man’s specifications and lasted us close to 8 years. (That’s a pretty long time for a computer.) So when it came time to purchase our new baby, Military Man was not going to just purchase the first computer that captured his eye, nooooo, Military Man had to have another one built. Because let’s face it, if the dinosaur lasted us 8 years, then the next one better last just as long. So, last week our new baby arrived. (Getting it set up has been another issue, Military Man's computer techie friend had to come over today and get our wireless internet set up for us. If if you haven't figured it out by now, Military Man, try as he might, is not computer savvy. But don't tell him that.)

Here is the dinosaur which is still sitting in the computer/man room (Military Man apparently is so bonded to it, he is not ready to part with it.)




See, I told you it was a dinosaur.


Here is the newest addition to our family…

Isn’t it purty!!! Hello, my friend, welcome to the family. You have no idea how wanted and appreciated you are.

So, I figure over the next few days/weeks (depending on if I can get Military Man off the computer long enough for me to play) I will be bringing you updates on what life has been like over the past two months. My life has been interesting to say the least and I have a few more gray hairs as a result. I hope you will not be bored.