Boodie Jay

If you recall, several months ago I introduced you to the grumpy naked four year old monster that had invaded my sweet bug's body. Oh, the monster is still there, it just wears underwear now. It began wearing underwear approximately 2 months ago, after a weekend stay with "the warden" (aka Nana). I honestly did not think anything of it. Just silently thanked my mother for getting my child to at least run around with some form of clothing on.

Last night as we were getting the bug ready for her bath, I asked her to take her dirty clothes to the laundry room before we went upstairs. The bug willingly complied but came back from the laundry room with her underwear still on.

"Bug, you need to take your panties off too."

"No mommy, I can't."

"Why can't you?"

"Because if I take my panties off, the Boodie Jays will come."

"Boodie Jays? What Boodie Jays?"

"The Boodie Jays that will come and peck my boodie off. I have to keep my panties on until I take my bath."

"Baby, there's no such thing as boodie jays."

"Uh, huh, Nana says that if I don't keep my panties on, then the boodie jays will come and peck my boodie off."

"Baby, I promise you that the boodie jays are not coming tonight. Please take you panties off and put them in the dirty clothes basket."

"You promise the boodie jays won't come tonight?"

"I promise."

"Are they sleeping?"

"Yes, they are sleeping."

"No boodie jays?"

"No boodie jays."

The bug, reluctantly complied and took her underwear off. She quickly walked up the stairs, both hands protecting her bottom. After we got the bug settled in bed, I called "the warden."

"What is this about boodie jays?"

"Boodie Jays, Betsy what are you talking about?"

"When I was trying to get the Bug to take her panties off and put them in the dirty clothes basket, she said that you told her that if she did not keep her panties on the boodie jays would come and peck her boodie off."

The warden started laughing hysterically. "No, the weekend she spent the night, she refused to put any clothing on. So I told her that if she did not at least put on a pair of panties, the blue jays were going to come and peck her boodie. You may thank me now."

This morning the bug woke up and unlike the usually strip down and run around in her underwear routine, she is still in her pajamas.

"Bug, why are you still in your pajamas?"

The Bug's whispered...

"The boodie jays are awake mommy, don't open the door, I don't want them to peck my boodie off."

Gee...thanks mother.

To celebrate My 100th post...

Okay...so to celebrate my 100th post I made this awesome, and I mean completely awesome dessert. (Okay, I really did not make it to celebrate the post, it just happened to be made the same evening.)


It is a chocolate cobbler. I got it from my younger sister, the doctor, who got it from the wife of one of her patients. Please pardon the pictures, they are not the greatest. I took them courtesy of my new crackberry, I am still learning the finer points of being technologically savvy.


Here are the cast of characters:



1 1/4 cups sugar divided

1 cup all purpose flour

7 tbs cocoa divided

2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup milk

1/3 cup melted butter

1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

1 1/2 cups hot water

Vanilla Ice Cream or Whipped Cream (believe me, you are going to need it.)

• Preheat over to 350 degrees


• In a bowl, stir together 3/4 cups sugar, flour, 3 tbs coca, baking powder, and salt. Stir in milk, melted butter, and vanilla. Mix until smooth. Pour batter into an ungreased, 8 inch square glass baking pan.


• In a separate bowl, stir together remaining 1/2 cup sugar, brown sugar, and remaining 4 tbs cocoa. Sprinkle mixture evenly over batter. Pour hot water over top - DO NOT STIR.


• Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until center of cobbler is almost set. Let stand for 15 minutes.

Here is what it looks like out of the oven...

I told you my pictures weren't great. But man oh man...

• Spoon into individual dessert dishes


• The cobbler makes it own chocolate sauce in the bottom of the pan (see)...

Trust me, it was oozing chocolate sauce

• Now grab a spoon and top that bad boy with some vanilla ice cream. (I would suggest using an ice cream scoop but because LA Lady broke mine the last time she was at my house, I had to settle for a spoon.)

Here is what it looks like just before it hit Military Man's mouth...

Folks, if you love chocolate, it doesn't get much better than this!

It's My 100th Post!!!

Woo Hoo, I've hit the big 100. I would especially like to thank Drama Mama and LA Lady who got me blogging in the first place. I would also like to give a shout out to my friend Eli who read my blog when no one else did. (By the way, I really admire Eli, the girl is all about going green.) There are several others whom I would like to mention at this time: my blogging friend across the ocean C.B. , Prin (even though she left me off her blogroll), and Reas for their support, humor, and social work insight on my cyberstalkers.

If I have forgotten to mention anyone, I would like to personally thank you now for taking the time to read my blog. And I would also like to thank all my readers (even the cyberstalkers), you make blogging fun.

Okay, I have to go now, I just heard a loud crash. I must go see what disaster awaits me in the living room. Thanks again, and keep coming back. Until tomorrow...

Beware...They Are Coming After You!!!

They come, just when you least expect it. They know when you are home, they sit and wait, lurking behind trees and bushes, watching and waiting. And then it happens, just when you are getting ready to get into the bathtub to enjoy some peace and quiet and much needed personal pampering time, the doorbell rings.

"Hello, I was wondering if we can take a moment of your time to discuss the teachings of Jehovah."

That's right my friends, it's the Jehovah's Witness.

"Now is not really a good time for me."

"But this will only take a few moments of your time, may we come in."

Be cautious, don't let them in.

"Like I said, now is really not a good time, I'm kinda busy."

"Yes, we understand, but this will only take a few moments."

Stand your ground, don't let them in, you deserve your personal pampering time.

"I'm really not trying to be rude, but now is just not a good time."

"Ma'm do you believe in the second coming?"

"Huh?"

Ohhh...big mistake.

"It's not too late, you too can have a place in heaven, if we can just come in and have a few moments to discuss with you the teachings of Jehovah. You too will have you place in heaven."

"I appreciate your efforts, really I do, and I respect you religious beliefs, but I am already a practicing member of a church."

Okay...that should get them to leave so you can go back to your personal pampering time. The water is still hot.

"If we can just take a few moments you will see that your religion is the teaching of the devil."

What the F$@&!!! Okay, they're not leaving a quickly as you thought, deep cleansing breath...

"Again, I appreciate your religious beliefs, but I am not interested. I am happy with church I am with."

"Ma'am your church is the workings of satan. And as long as you allow satan in your life, you will never find your place in heaven."

Now their really starting to piss you off. Get rid of them, you have a hot bath waiting for you. PERSONAL PAMPERING TIME IS CALLING YOU!

"Thank you, but I am not interested."

"That is because you have not allowed Jehovah into your life."

What...do these people just not get the hint?

"Like I said, I'm not interested."

"Then can we pray for you, pray for your sins, pray that you will see the error of your ways, pray that you will allow Jehovah in your life before it is too late."

Alright, that's it, they've really done it now.

"I don't know how I can make this any clearer, I'm not interested. I enjoy birthdays, thanksgiving, christmas, and easter. I believe in celebrating special events in my life and my family's life."

"Those are just things that you will not find in heaven."

"I also believe in homosexuality, gay marriage, gay and lesbian adoptions, evolution and UNICORNS!!!"

"It appears now is not a good time. Thank you and have a good day."

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, they finally got the hint. Now go and enjoy your personal pampering time.


Ahhh, at last, peace and quiet, and f#$%, d#$%, bleep, bleep, bleep, the f#$%ing water's cold.

We Interrupt Our Regular Posting....

I got an award...I got an award!!! WooHoo, thanks to my dear friend LA Lady. She thinks I'm worthy. She likes me, she really, really, likes me!!!

What Do You Think? (Part II)

Okay...for the sake of dialogue and because I am dying to know what you think, I am posting the following comments that I recently received from my cyberstalkers.


This came from Anonymous regarding my post on "Where's Waldo"...


It's social workers like you are describing that are causing the crisis in the system. How many Waldo's does it take to falsify a case and destroy a family?? Just one, and supervisor who doesn't actually supervise.


What is so dissapointing is the blase' attitude by "Waldo's" fellow social workers like yourself. How many families has this guy ruined?? Yet, when a person complains how is it all the other social workers run in to protect "Waldo" by offering other falsified reports??


Let's be clear on this. I was cleared at a CAPTA hearing of the substantiation of which the social worker never notified me about. Yea, I had to hear it online from my ex husband as a anonymous commentor.


This is the same ex husband who the social workers actually talks about the "goodness of his heart" IN MY REPORTS.


The real reason social workers are tired and depressed is because they know what they are doing is evil. Why should I feel sorry for you at all; you already feel sorry enough for yourself.


This came from Anonymous when I referred to her comment as a "three page essay"...


It was three paragraphs not three pages. And you proved my point exactly. Do you falsify your reports just like you falsified your blog entry? Guess so. You can't handle the truth.


And lastly, this came from LK (aka the head cyberstalker) who apparently take exception to being called a cyberstalker...


Wow! What an over-reaction to a blog comment!


Reading and commenting on a blog is hardly cyber-stalking Betsy. All of the lies that you were trained to come up with in babystealer school won't help you on this one.


You made yourself public simply by blogging. We get to know you simply by reading.


Besides. Here I am helping you to make your blog successful by linking to you and you claim that is encouraging hate mail? You think that my blog don't get me hate mail? Please! You don't know what hate mail is. Blogs such as ours are controversial by nature. I mean you are a babystealer, do you honestly believe that real parents are going to love you? Do you honestly think that everybody is going to sympathize with you?


Thanks for the entertainment. What a piece of work you are.

It appears that my cyberstalkers stared at the orange juice container just a little too long, because they read into things that simply weren't there.

I am usually snarky, sarcastic, and a smartass (one of my more endearing qualities ha ha). I learned several months ago, that I can either let the hate mail get to me and stop blogging (which ain't gonna happen) OR I can find the humor in it (hence the cyberstalkers). Yes, it is terrible that there are social workers out there giving the rest of us a bad name. And yes, it is terrible that there are individuals out there who have been "screwed" by the system. I am not stupid, I have worked in this field long enough to know how some social workers are.

But...encouraging others to go to social work blogs and "leave the babystealers a comment" makes you no better than that social worker who did not do their job.

I'm sorry that a social worker left a bad taste in your mouth, but I'm not your social worker and this blog isn't about you boo. And if you can't read the sarcasm in my post...then maybe you shouldn't be reading it.

So, I shall close this post in the words of Forest Gump..."That's all I have to say about that."

9/11 Remembered

Tonight as I was channel surfing, I landed on MSNBC and they were showing a the Today airing of 9/11 as the events happened. A flood of memories came rushing forward.

9/11 happened on a Tuesday in 2001. I remember that day like it were yesterday. I had taken a leave of absence from work that year to complete my MSW. Tuesday just happened to be the one day that I was not in class. I usually got up every morning around 7 am, met some classmates at the Y to work out, then we would drive over to IHOP for pancakes (I know, pretty much defeats the purpose of working out) and a study group. For some reason that morning, we decided not to meet.

I can't remember the exact time, I just remember waking up, turning on the television to hear Matt Lauer and Katie Couric talking to someone via phone regarding a "possible" plane that hit the World Trade Center Tower. I sat there glued to the television for the next few hours. I could not believe what I was witnessing. I sat there in stunned silence as the second plane hit the second tower. My best friend's father worked in Tower Two. A girl I went to high school with worked in the building adjacent the twin towers. I tried calling my best friend, but could never get through. My mother called the parent of my high school friend. It was unreal, unbelievable. How could something like this happen? Why, I kept asking myself, why would someone do this? These were innocent individuals who went to work that day like it was any other day. Innocent individuals that will never go home. Children that will never see their parent(s), animals that may be sitting in their owners' apartments waiting for them to come home, and they never will.

I eventually learned that my friend's father was home sick that day and my high school friend was away on a business trip. But I also learned that a girl that graduated from my college never made it out of Tower Two and another college alum's husband was killed when the plane hit the pentagon. Whether he was in the plane or in the building I cannot recall.

It has been 7 years, 7 years since 9/11 and even though I think about that day when September rolls around, I truly believe that I will be forever changed as a result of that moment in time. Life is too short, we need to embrace those around us, cherish what we have, appreciate all that we have been given, and be grateful for the little things in life.

They're Baacckk!!!!

That's right folks, my cyber stalkers are back. Where ya been "friend", I haven't written anything controversial enough for you lately? To be quit honest, I have a few thoughts on the cyber stalkers (because clearly these individuals have nothing better to do with their time except misinterpret post.) But given the time of day (10:56 pm), and the fact that I have a life (clearly unlike the cyber stalker who felt the need to write a 3 page essay on my "blase`" attitude), I am choosing to go to bed. I have to get up in the morning and go to day two of my week long training.

But as I go to bed, please know, that I am gathering my thoughts. And for you cyber stalkers out there who have nothing better to do than encourage others to send hate mail, I'll be back!!!

Nemo

Several days ago as I was taking the bug to school, she asked if she could listen to her Nemo music. Shortly after I put the CD in and the music started to play, I hear this uncontrollable wailing. I turned around to see my child with huge crocodile tears running down her cheeks, crying so hard she could not be consoled.


"What's the matter?"


"I misssss Neeemmmooo."


"Why do you miss the movie Nemo baby, we have it at home, you can watch it this afternoon after school.


"No mommy, I, I, I missss Nemo, mmmmyyyy fissshhhhh"


"What fish, bug, you don't have a fish."


"ye, ye, yes I do, you, you, you flushed it down the toilllleeetttttt."


"Bug, are you referring to the fish that you had two years ago?"


"ye, ye, yes. You, you flushed hi, hi, him down the toilet, and I missssss hiiiiimmm."


"Baby, that was two years ago."


"But I missssss hiiiimmm, and I waaaannnt hiiimmm baaaack."


"Baby, I can't bring your fish back, he is with God now."


"Well, tell God that I want him to bring my fish back, RIGHT NOW!!!"


"Bug, I don't think God can do that, your fish has been dead for over two years, it is a little late for him to bring the fish back now."


"Fine, if you won't tell him, than I will tell him myself."


"Baby, I think that is a great idea, when we say our prayers tonight, we will ask God to take good care of your fish."


"No mommy, I don't want to wait to talk to God tonight, I am going to talk to him today."


"Okay, if you want to talk to him today, then I think you should."


"Thank you mommy. I love you, even if you did flush my fish down the toilet."


"I love you too bug."


I dropped her off at school, let her teacher know that we were feeling a little emotional this morning, but hopefully once she got in the groove of things, she would start to feel better. Ms. Ray, the bug's teacher, stated that she understood, but would keep an eye on her if she started to get upset.


That evening as I was going through the bug's folder, there was a note from Ms. Ray. The note read:

Betsy,

After chapel today, "the bug" walked up to Father John, put her hands on her hips, and demanded for him to bring back her fish. Father John was perplexed by this statement as was I. When I tried to explain to her that Father John did not have her fish, she stated that you told her that he did and that she could talk to him and tell him to bring her fish back. I am not sure where she is getting the idea that Father John has her fish, but you might want to talk with her this evening and explain to her that Father John does not have her fish and wherever her fish is, Father John can't give it back to her.

Ms. Ray

Where's Waldo?

There are all sorts of interesting individuals who work in child welfare. I introduced you to Marge, now it is time to introduce you to Waldo.

Words cannot begin to describe Waldo. In a nut shell, Trasheka and I are convinced that Waldo is a 60's reject who probably dropped acid one too many times in college. (He may still for all we know.) He has actually reported to Trasheka and I that when he closes his eyes, his visualizes the colors that are in music. (Can we say fried brain?)

As a worker, Waldo is awesome. I truly can not say enough positive things about him. Waldo is one of the few workers that I know that will spend his weekends with kids in his caseload who do not have a visiting resource. He uses his own money to buy birthday gifts for his kids and makes sure that something special is done on their birthday. Like I said, Waldo is awesome as a caseworker. There is one problem though, we can never find Waldo when we need him. It is pretty common to hear someone ask "Where's Waldo? Has anyone seen Waldo?" We usually find Waldo coming out of the bathroom, surfing the internet when he should be in a meeting, or outside chain smoking.

This morning was one such morning. My supervisor, who was in a pretty foul mood this morning (probably because she was at work) came barreling in my office and asked "Where's waldo? I'm looking for him and he is not in his office. His computer is still covered, has anyone heard from him?" I told her that I had not seen him but he was most likely in the field seeing his kids to make sure that they were okay after the storm. She walked off stating that if he had not made it in the office by the time she got out of her meeting, she would call him.

As soon as she was out of hearing distance, I called Waldo on his cell phone.

"Waldo, where are you?"

"At home."

"What are you doing at home?"

"Well, the office is closed today."

"No Waldo, it's not, I am sitting here in my office and our supervisor is looking for you."

"The office is open today?"

"Yes, that is what I said, why did you think that the office was closed today?"

"Well, the news said that the public schools were closed today, so doesn't that usually mean that our office is closed as well?"

"No, Waldo it does not mean that our offices are closed when the schools are closed. Public School employees work for the county, we work for the state."

"Oh."

"Waldo, how long have you been employed with child welfare?"

"6 years, why?"

"And in 6 years, two hurricanes, and one tropical storm, when have you ever been told that when the news says the public schools are closed that our office is closed too?"

"Um...never."

"So why would you assume that the offices would be closed now?"

"So I guess I need to come into the office?"

"Um...if you want your job tomorrow."

"What if I called in sick?"

"Waldo, it is 11:45 am, do you think our supervisor would go for that?"

"No, I guess not. Okay...I guess I better come in to work. Thanks for calling."

I don't know if Waldo ever came into work or not. When I came home and told Military Man, his response was "Is Waldo naturally this dumb or is he on a dumb ass streak right now?" I honestly don't know. All I know is this, if they were giving out dumb ass awards, Waldo would get the award for being the biggest dumb ass in child welfare.

And The Wind Shall Blow...

Around 3 pm this afternoon things really started kicking up. 40 mile an hour wind gust, pelting rain, my backyard is pretty much mush now. The good news...we were on the tail end of it and never lost power. The bad news...we have power so that means we have work. Yuck. Happy Labor Day!!!

Hanging Out In The Hurricane

Okay, so here is how life has been in the burned out household so far...

• 5:45 am Military Man gets out of bed to watch the Weather Channel
• 7:15 am I get my lazy rear out of bed, drink my first of what is to be many cups of coffee (I am a coffee addict, Starbucks is my best friend, shame it is closed today.)
• 8:00 am Sit in recliner and watch the wind kick up, try to encourage dogs to go outside, but they are having none of that. Try to get on the computer, but with the weather, I can't get a connection, read smut instead.
• 8:10 Military Man leaves burned out household to check on mental health group homes. Wind kicking up like a booger, strong rain bands coming in. Continue reading smut
• 9:00 am The Bug wakes up, Weather Channel is replaced with Dora the Explorer (Hola Friends!!) Still can't get on the computer, read more smut.
• 10:50 am Military Man calls and states that he is on his way home, reports the streets are empty (duh) and most of the stores are closed (duh again). Smut fest continues.
• 11:00 am Military Man decides it is time to work on the dinosaur of a computer. The man still cannot comprehend that maybe it is time to replace it. He is almost as bad as my father, who by the way, drove a 1980 buick station wagon up until 2 years ago. It was sad, sad, sad. We were threatening to send it to pimp my ride.
• 11:05 am Receive phone call from Room mother for Bug's class, school will be open tomorrow. D@%& that means the office will be open too.
• 11:15 am Finally get on the computer. I am currently sitting on the front porch, on my porch swing, which by the way we took down so it would not crash into my french doors. The Bug just came outside to join me (after being told that she had to put clothes on if she wanted to come outside, she has been running around in her panties all morning.) She is currently wearing one flip flop and one croc and has now informed me that she is ready to "go visit." The wind has really started kicking up again, which means that another rain band is about to blow in. Some idiot is actually walking down the street right now, while the village idiot's children (definitely another post) are running around in the front yard. Maybe now is a good time to get off the computer. Guess I will go read some more smut. Will keep you posted as the storm rages on!!!